False teachers...

One of my favorite past times is to watch the false teachers on the Christian TV stations and dissect their teachings and understand where they are going wrong. I know it's not the most positive of hobbies, but it's something that I find depressing yet fascinating all at the same time. Tonight I saw this guy on tv and the entire time, all he talked about was money and planting a "$1,000 seed" and how much God has blessed him and it was seriously 30 minutes of him talking about himself and how much money he had and how if people didn't give money to his ministry they were allowing Satan to have control of that part of their lives. I couldn't believe it! He then went on to say that not only did God want to give you financial blessings, but that you were to be healthy. Now, I've always heard about how teachers as part of the Faith Movement say that God wants you to be "healthy, wealthy, and wise" but I've never heard anyone blatantly come out in his teaching and cover all those things. The whole time he had his fancy little alligator skin Bible in his hands but never once did he open it and never once did he quote a scripture in its correct context. It breaks my heart to think that there are people who listen to him and feel that this is what God wants from them. They're truly being led astray. This life isn't about us, it's about Him and His glory. I just pray that those who hear these teachings and think they are truth would have their eyes opened and that those who teach this bad doctrine will repent and know the real God. There is so much more I could say with this little rant, but I guess I'll stop here.

An awesome prayer

Ok, so as I was studying today for my Girl's Bible study, I came across this prayer of a Quaker girl who was in her early 20's and I couldn't believe how much it echoed the cries of my heart:

Oh my Father! stretch out your all powerful arm in mercy and free me from the bonds of sin and death which hold me fast! You see that I am tired of trying to be good, that I don’t really try to resist the temptations of the evil one with all my might. And you know that my whole nature rebels against following you and serving you. But, oh Father! strengthen my feeble knees, put a new and holy faith in my heart and bring down my haughty nature to the very dust. You are my only refuge; therefore, listen, I pray you, to my prayer.
I am haughty and full of pride. I shrink from the suffering which I know is waiting for me. I look almost with disgust on the narrow, narrow path which I see lying out before me. I feel that I can never consent to become nothing for your name’s sake. But you, Oh Lord! are able to drive away all pride from every heart. Oh won’t you purify and wholly sanctify my heart and make me willing to become the very least of your servants that you may have all the glory and honor and praise for ever and ever world without end!
—Journal, 1849

Joy

Well, if you've been a Christian for any length of time, you have heard that little word that means oh so much: joy. I wish I could say that I have perfected the art of being joyful, but honestly when the conditions of life are less than what would be considered favorable, and you don't know what's going on or what the outcome of challenging situations may be, you soon come to realize that having joy isn't as easy as one would initially think. There have been a couple of situations that I've been going through and I find myself crying about them, whining about them, and yes, praying about them, but joy is far from one of the emotions I am feeling. Last Sunday I taught on how joy is a key part of having the love as the fruit of the Spirit in your life, that joy that comes from loving and trusting in God's sovereignty, that joy that can weather any storm, that joy that is purely for the purpose to bring God glory even in times of struggle. After teaching that lesson, it seems like God has continuously brought it again and again across my path that I am to "rejoice always". It's been in such a way that I couldn't ignore it if I tried. I need to get out of my pity parties, and truly start trusting in God and having joy always.

The purpose of Saturday mornings

Ok, so I have a confession to make, right now with the women of the staff here we're going through what it means to be a proverbs 31 woman and one thing that is standing out to me is how she rises early. Well, and here's my confession, I LOVE my sleep! I do, I'll admit that if I don't get 8 hours of sleep I'm just not a happy camper, and therefore I may never be that perfect woman, because I honestly believe that without this glorious thing we call sleep, I would be a useless individual. Anyways, all of this little rant is brought on by the fact that the staff here does not seem to have the same issue as I do with enjoying sleeping in and therefore every single day of the week, they are in the house working beginning at around 7ish. Now in my opinion, I truly think that next to "honor the Sabbath day and keep it holy" should be "and there is a second command like it, thou shalt not wake up before 8:30 on a Saturday morning". I think I'll have to put that in the KORV (Kelli O'Hea Revised Version).

My last night

Right now, it's 3:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. I'm packing up my room as I've seemed to put it off until now, I think in a way of trying to avoid it as long as possible. It's so weird seeing my room all packed up and how I've got boxes of stuff that I'm getting rid of. I can't believe this how real it's becoming.

36 hours and counting...

Ok, so I'm going to be totally and completely honest and tell you that right now I'm sitting here with tear stained eyes and a red bull can near by because I seriously have so much to do right now it's not even funny and I'm so overwhelmed. I have to admit, I also am feeling very alone right now just that there's nothing people can really do to help me even if I wanted them to. I've come to realize this is to be my own battle to fight and I'm just really in shock that in pretty much exactly 36 hours I'm going to be getting on a plane to leave for two years.

Goodbye to my boys

Well, today I said goobye to Mat and Chris as they headed off CCBC. I have to admit this has been the most difficult of the goodbyes so far. It's crazy to think they're embarking upon this new chapter of their lives much like I am. These boys have been the ones who I've always had a special bond with and I'm just so thankful that I've been able to see them and realize that there are some good guys out there, really good guys. I'm going to miss them so much, but I know God is going to use them greatly.

Change is...

Ok, so I remember last year coming back from Uganda and there was a whole lot going through my mind and then I heard this quote on Grey's Anatomy, "Change, we don’t like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying. But heres the truth: the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Oh, sometimes, change is ... everything" and it seemed to hit such a chord with me as I was anticipating all of the changes I have either already gone through (graduation, leaving my job, etc...) to the changes I'm about to embark upon in a matter of just a few days. And right now I can honestly attest to the validity of the statement that change truly is EVERYTHING. It's just so crazy looking back and seeing how much has taken place in this past year and how much God has tought me.

Tonight Your stars speak

(The title of this blog is the title of a song by the Glorious Unseen). I can honestly say that tonight as I was laying out under the stars just thinking and praying, it dawned on me that to our common knowledge there is really no real reason for the stars to be in existance, as they're too far away to have any real impact on us. Then it hit me that their sole purpose is to bring God glory. Time and time again I hear of people talking about how they can see how great and big God is by looking at the stars and through that there lies their purpose...to point to how truly amazing He is. And that's exactly what we are to be like too. Although it may be difficult for some of us to believe, not everything about this world is about us, in fact nothing about it is about us. Our sole purpose on this earth is to bring HIM glory. We are to shine so brightly that people praise God for how awesome He truly is, it's not about us.

Patriotism at its best

So although I haven't been able to watch too much of the Olympics, I have had the privilege of seeing some of the upsets. And last night was no different. Lukas, J, and I watched the movie Stick It and right after it was over Lukas and I turned on the Olympics and it was the girls gymnastic overall individual competition. We were able to see our girls get the gold and silver upsetting all expectations. I have to admit I may have gotten a little teary eyed watching them standing there as the national anthem play and I couldn't help but think about what the Olympics is all about. Yes, it's a bunch of super skinny individuals who have stronger muscles in their big toe than I do in my whole body, but I've concluded that it means even more. The Olympics brings out the patriotism in all of us, no matter what your political affiliation is, how much money you make, or what your education may be. I love it! And seeing how America rises up to overcome the odds, you can't help but be at least a little proud about our somewhat screwed up but all in all pretty alright "Home of the free and the land of the brave".

A little sound byte of heaven

So I was reading on Levi's blog about how he was listening to Phil Wickham's new live worship album and how you can download it from the link below for free. And oh my sweet goodness! It would be worth large sums of money so the fact that you can get it for free is awesome! Download it and listen to it on your iPod, it will bring joy to your hear.

http://philwickham.com/singalong/

Don't worry..about a thing...'cuz every little thing is gonna be alright

So these past three days have seriously been doozies, but just today as I was kind of in the middle of a breakdown feeling as if I had nothing to lean upon anymore as it seemed like all of my friends either had too much on their plates right now or they just were being really distant. Not to mention my commissioning got canceled for tonight, so I was super discouraged about that too. Well, I went to my prayer warriors at the front desk and after they prayed for me, I went to talk to a friend of mine and as I was talking to her, my eyes were opened to how I was like Peter when Jesus walked on water and when he tried to join Him, he looked around and freaked out. I realized that these last few days I've been "looking around and freaking out", but that time with Peter was followed with Jesus immediately reaching out His hand to save him. God truly did that to me today and it was like all of a sudden all was better and all of the situations I was going through I was able to see through His eyes. It was really hard and my eyes are blood shot from crying but it was totally worth it. I've been learning a lot of hard lessons lately, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Being pruned

So this past week has been a roller coaster of emotions where God has been teaching me lesson after lesson, it's been amazing having my eyes opened to new things, but it's also been incredibly hard. I was reading this morning in John 15:2 about how as we are to be the branch and if we are bearing fruit, the Father as the vine dresser, will prune us in order to produce more fruit. That is honestly what I feel like right now. I feel like many of my friendships have changed and people who I was once very close to have drifted away and there's nothing I can do to help it. God really is showing me that He is to be that "best" friend. The one I run to in times of struggle and the one I share my deepest fears and thoughts to, He is the one I am to trust in for that companionship and comfort. He will ALWAYS be there for me and I need to stop putting all my expectations on my other friends and truly just look to Him.

sitting, hoping, thinking, praying

So do you ever have those moments where you just feel peaceful? Right now I'm at Flying Star off of Rio Grande and for a a brief 15 minutes, it was so quiet with a breeze blowing, no one else on the patio, and the calm of the early morning at hand. Of course that's kind of over now but as I sat reading my Bible it was one of those times where you hope you can carry that sense of relaxation throughout the rest of the day. That feeling that you don't have care in the world as looking at the trees move in the breeze you can think of how that is like God: even though you may not see Him, He's there and He will NEVER leave you no matter how hectic your life is. Aside from the flies buzzing around (which even that adds to the sense of outdoorsy relaxation in a weird way), it so serene that I'm actually somewhat happy that I had to be here by 7 for breakfast with one of my girls.

Living in a dirty world

So tonight, Dave Row taught and one part of his message really stood out to me. He talked of how Jesus washed His disciples feet and that can have more meaning to it than what meets the eye. The foot is what gets dirtiest because it is the one that touches the "world" the most. I couldn't help but think of how dirty we figuratively get when we're walking in this world we live in. Well...tonight, I went to go and watch a movie and it was honestly one of the most vile movies I've ever seen, I seriously felt dirty after just watching a mere 15 minutes of it and soon felt the need to just leave as I had the words of James 1:27 going through my head, "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, [and] to keep oneself unspotted from the world." It's one of those things where you could almost tangibly feel the battle being fought. I could hear people all around me laughing at the crude scenes and I realized just how we are called not to "conform to this world, but transform it by the renewing of our minds". And it may not be easy and the friends I went with might very well end up giving me grief about it or making me feel like a "goody two shoes" but that's when we have to count the costs and remember we are held to a higher standard and answer to a higher authority. I'm not saying that movies are bad, or anything like that, but that we need to hold true to the personal convictions the Holy Spirit lays on our hearts.

A butterfly?

Ok, so this may sound kind of random, but last night I was sitting at my favorite thinking spot, the baptismal at Calvary. And I was just laying down looking at the stars mixed with clouds that were beginning to roll in. I've never really watched the clouds at night, but last night I did and as I was praying I saw a cloud that had a hole in it that was the shape of a butterfly and I couldn't help but draw the connection to how I'm kind of experiencing what a butterfly goes through in my own way. I feel like for the past year especially I've been kind of in my cocoon, learning, preparing, etc... for this next adventure and when I board that plane in 27 days I will be finally breaking out and spreading my new found wings and having to learn how to fly on my own. Without my normal support network of friends and family I will be experiencing the world in a whole new way.

Flying away

Ok, so I don't know about anyone else, but there's those times I experience something that hits me and I begin to look around me and notice just how frequently I hear or see something that resembles that or hits that same button. For me, it is typically with music and lately I've been noticing all of the songs that seem to apply to me taking on this next chapter of my life. I feel for my friends because there are so many songs I hear on the radio that I'm like "this is so my life song right now". But as you are leaving all you know and love you kind of tend to look for comfort wherever you can, something that makes you feel not so alone, and these songs seem to help with that. For instance, there's an Alanis Morrissette song called Wunderkind where it says, "I am a magnet for all kinds of deeper wonderment/ I am a wunderkind oh oh oh oooooh/ And I lift the envelope pushed far enough to believe this/ I am a princess on the way to my throne / Destined to serve, destined to roam" And there are yet still others like the Kelly Clarkson song where her chorus says, "I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly/I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky/And I'll make a wish/Take a chance/Make a change/ And breakaway/Out of the darkness and into the sun/But I won't forget all the ones that I love/I'll take a risk/Take a chance/Make a change/ And breakaway. But oh there's more, a song by Regina Spektor called The Call and the lyrics include, "All you can do is try to know Who your friends are/As you head off to the war/Pick a star on the dark horizon/And follow the light/I'll come back/When you call me/No need to say good bye", and finally the one that I seem to relate to the most is the Shadow of the Day by Linkin Park with the line "sometimes beginnings aren't so simple, sometimes goodbye's the only way". I know this is kind of a depressing thought, but it does help me to kind of put words to some of the things I'm feeliing. To conclude this little thought, I found this quote today by Mark Twain which I feel kind of encapsulates yet more of my thoughts and trying to give myself some encouragement, "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream."

Montana Pics

Here's some of the pics I took so hopefully you can grasp how amazing this trip really was.

Montana trip 6.1

Well it's midnight and I'm back in the 'Burque after my first vacation by myself. These past five days went by so fast, but I just can't tell you how awesome it was to relax and spend time with friends of mine who have meant more to me than I can ever express. Today consisted of Alaina and Zack coming over for breakfast at the apartment after which we went to Coy and Sara's and I was able to see them one last time. It was surreal saying goodbye to them and I was having kind of a hard time processing it, and then Johnny and Tori took me to the airport and that's where it hit me. I didn't think I was going to cry, but as it so happened, it just came and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Realizing I was saying goodbye for two years to all those people was just so crazy to me. I just pray that God will use all of them in such amazing ways up there as I know He's already begun a good work and He is faithful to finish what He begins. Now it's back to reality and me continuing on with Africa prep. I'm stoked because the Belize team gets back tonight, yay! I can't wait to tackle my guys. I'm glad I'll finally get to see them as it seems like the days have been winding down to Africa and all I want to do is spend time with friend but all of my friends who weren't in Montana were pretty much in Belize except for a couple. Well, traveling takes it out of you, so I guess I'll go to sleep now.

Montana trip 5.1

Right now I'm in a little coffee shop enjoying an iced vanilla late recapping on my trip as I will be leaving in less than 24 hours. I honestly cannot tell you how perfect this trip was to escape some of the Africa stress that had been bogging me down recently. I know it will be there facing me when I return but hopefully I'll be ready to take it on. Today was a pretty relaxed day. We woke up to make some waffles and then Tori and I talked for a while and then she convinced me to take a bike ride with her which I was incredibly afraid of since I haven't ridden a bike in about ten years and even when I did ride my bike back then, I couldn't even turn a corner. But we rode for almost two miles and I didn't fall down once and it was awesome feeling the cool air as I rode taking in the beautiful scenery. Tori and I then headed over to Whitefish where we got to hang out with Jennie, Alivia, and Lenya. Alivia showed me her room, seriously every part of her room, she is such a cool little girl! Then we headed over to the Red Caboose for lunch and I got to spend some more time with Jennie and I don't think I can ever convey to her how much it meant to me to be able to sit and talk with her as she seriously (and I've told her this) has had THE biggest impact on my walk out of anyone. From there, Tori and I walked around the town and I got a couple of souvenirs and after that, we headed home where she dropped me off here.

Montana Trip 4.2

Well today was a crazy day to say the least. We finally got to see Ella and I got to hold her and one cool thing I hope I will always remember is at one point Levi, Jennie, Kevin, Alaina, Tori, Johnny, Coy, and Sara were all in the room and it was just so neat all of us being there I just tried to capture what it was like and so it will be a memory I will always cherish.

After the hospital, Johnny and Tori took me to what could be described as the most breathtakingly beautiful place in the entire world, Glacier National Park. I'm definitely not one to be at a loss for words, but that place seriously took the words out of my mouth. And the picture that I've included with this blog helps to show what I mean when I say "If a picture is worth a thousand words, a thousand pictures of this place can only described with a whispered 'wow!'" It seemed as if every corner we drove around there was a different view that I just couldn't put into words to tell how beautiful it was. While on our way there I also was able to experience heaven on a waffle cone, huckelberry ice cream. Oh my sweet goodness! That ice cream was amazing. Texting my parents, I was able to write the most glorious sentence "on my way to Glacier eating huckelberry ice cream". Life seriously couldn't get a whole lot better than that.

Coming home from Glacier, we were exhausted and so we went back to Tori and Johnny's where we made spaghetti and watched Penelope which was actually pretty cute. It then started to rain and I poured myself a cup of coffee and drank that while listening to the rain and watched the Devil Wears Prada. Needless to say, it was an awesome day!

Montana Trip 4.1

Well, right now I'm in the hospital waiting room because Sara and Coy just had their new baby girl. Her name is Ella June and she's 6 lbs 8 oz. We haven't seen her yet but we're going to get some food for all of us and then probably see her then. It always blows my mind thinking about babies being born. To me, it seriously is by far the craziest miracle I could ever think of, and I can't imagine what goes through a couple's mind as they get closer to the birth of their baby knowing that their life is going to drastically change and they have one of the biggest responsibilities in the world being a parent. Well time for lunch.

Montana Trip 3.1

To define today (Monday) in one word is "R-E-L-A-X". There was no agenda, nothing planned and it was glorious! We woke up at around 9ish and Tori and I made coffee cake and talked and then Johnny brought us burgers from Frugals which were amazing and were kind of a mixture between In-N-Out and Carl's Jr. After that Tori and I walked along Main Street where we went into a couple cool little shops, including one little (ok, it was actually really big) antique shop where it was almost like we were playing dress up looking at all of the old things. After that we headed home and watched the Dark Knight and it was amazing yet again, and it was nice just being able to anticipate the scary parts so I wouldn't jump clear out of my seat. We then went back to the apartment and just hung out waiting for everyone to come and hang out and by around 9ish we had Josh, Devon, Elisha (Kevin Guido's sister), Kevin and Alaina all at the apartment just hanging out. When Devon came over he had a crazy look on his face and told us he heard a loud bang and there was a fire and so we ran to check it out and it was a little brush fire, it was pretty exciting. But that was just about all we did, nothing big or fancy but exactly what I'm needing.

Oh, and one more thing. One crazy thing about Montana is that it stays light until almost 11 (hence the picture with my cell phone).

Montana Trip 2.2

Well due to the limited access to wi-fi, so this is for the last part of Sunday.

Well, after church I was able to see and talk to everyone and I was able to hold Jennie's and Levi's baby Lenya who is so precious and she seriously grabbed a hold of my heart. Then we all went to lunch at about 2 where we had big momma burritos and I was able to sit and talk to Jennie and Levi which was cool because I'm not sure if I'll get another chance to see them. From there we went to change and headed to Foy's Lake with Coy, Sara, and Emma. The lake was breathtakingly beautiful (that's what you're seeing pictures of) I've seriously never seen a lake so blue before. Then while Johnny and Coy went to watch the Red Sox game at Coy's Tori and I watched becoming Jane at the apartment. It was super chill and exactly what I needed not having to be some place but just going with the flow. I'm loving it up here!

Montana Trip 2.1

Ok, so it's day 2 and right now I'm in the office of Fresh Life church listening to the worship coming up through the floor from down stairs. I went to the early service and have been able to see almost everyone, but they all were just super busy tying to get everything ready for service. It's so crazy seeing all the people who I grew up with spiritually to see them thriving in a new place with a whole new group of people. The town is so cute, definitely not what I was expecting but then again I haven't even been in Montana 12 hours. So far though the people here are super nice and super laid back. I have no clue what all I'll do while I'm here but I'm just glad I get to see everyone one last time.

Montana Trip 1.1

Right now I'm in the airport enjoying the "fun" aspects of travel. I must preface this by reminding everyone that this is the first time I've ever really flown by myself, every other time I've flown either with my family or a large group of high school students all wearing brightly colored shirts. Therefore, due to the novelty of this experience, I have decided to document this in a manner that is true to my detailed nature.

_________________________

Checking my bag in I was behind a number of individuals who were having to receive vouchers to stay in a hotel due to a cancellation, but I was able to utilize the joys of modern technology and check in on one of those cool computer kiosk things. As I approached the security checkpoint, I walked past those who were saying goodbye to their loved ones as they departed as well as by those who were there to meet the loved ones who were returning to them. As I observed this, I couldn't help but think of the opening scene in the movie "Love Actually" where Hugh Grant offers commentary on what he saw at the arrivals gate at Heathrow airport. "General opinion makes out that we live in a world of hatred and greed. I don't see that. Seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy but it's always there.
Fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends... lf you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around." And I have to admit I could concur with his feelings.
After that, and I anticipated going through the security area rather smoothly I hear that dreaded "beep" as I walk through. The gentleman manning that check point at first was not the most pleasant of individuals but after the fourth time of me double and triple checking that I had no metal on me, he warmed up. So I got to go into that very spacious glass room where a girl informed me of every single aspect of the search she was going to do, even down the sounds I was going to hear. Needless to say it was an experience, but I had fun with it because I found that they responded well to a positive attitude which I can only assume is a rare thing for them to experience in their line of work.
After that joyous occasion I then proceeded to my gate to make sure I had an idea of where it was (I know there are just so many options in the sunport but I just wanted to be sure). When to my chagrin (yes, I used that word) I discover my flight has been delayed about 40 minutes. So after that I decided it would be wise to consume some sort food and a caffeinated beverage and about 10 minutes later after paying $7 for an iced late and a bagel I settled into my chair in the waiting area by my gate. And that is where I am at right now as I have now requested to get e-mail updates from my flight so I don't get up and impatiently check and re-check my flight status on the screen.

Are you serious!?

Well, today I'm sitting here being totally honest saying that these past two weeks have been tough. Right now I'm getting a cold, my grandma is dying, one of my most favorite people in the world just had a heart attack, my brother's sick and has to have a bunch of tests done, and I have three mid terms next week. I wish I could say I'm maintaining a positive attitude through this all, but right now it's incredibly hard to do that. I really feel like I'm being tested so much right now, and so I know God's in control and He is perfecting me, but it's just a hard time right now.

one of my skeletons

Ok, so today in the SUB I saw one of my "skeletons" from my past. I have to admit it was really hard. It was a guy who I used to like, and I know it sounds pathetic but all of the feelings of hurt and rejection kind of came flooding back to me. I look at him now and remember the girl I was, the one who over analyzed every little thing and had this romanticized view of how everything would turn out. I know that since then I have still made some of those mistakes but I was much more naive back then and I have deffinitely learned from that experience. I see him now and see what he is like and I thank God for how His mighty hand worked in stearing me away from that situation, but I do have to admit it still does bring a pit to my stomach.

The Glorious Unseen

So I've noticed that I tend to have somewhat of an obsessive personality and when I'm excited about something, my life is consumed by that thing until something else kind of captures my attention. Well, my current obsession is with a band called the Glorious Unseen. The lyrics from their songs are seriously some of the best ones I've ever heard, it's like the lyrics put words to what my heart has been feeling. At first I was going to put some of the lyrics to a couple of the songs on here, but there's just really not enough room for me to do that, they're that amazing. What you should do though is google them and find some of their lyrics and then buy their cd and you will not be disappointed, I wish I could buy you each one of their cd's, but I can't. Their one song called "burn in me" nearly brought me to tears. I truly can't say enough about how much God has blessed me through listening to them.

Rejoice Always

That little verse always kind of gets me. I like to think that I'm a joyful person, but "always"? That's another story. As you've seen in the previous blogs, things have been kind of tough and I have to admit although I said I knew God was in control and that He had me in the palm of His hand, I honestly still didn't really believe it. But after these past couple of days I've spent at my parent's house and then tonight being the first night at the Pirolo's I have to admit that although it's tough not having a real "space of my own" I know I need to be thankful and rejoice that God is providing for me and that this is a time in my life where I'm not supposed to be comfortable. I need to thank God that I have a great family where I am able to go back and live with them and I've been blessed with a great family with the Pirolo's as well. I now need to continue to remember that although "He gives and takes away" He's still faithful to love, provide, and take care of me and that He is faithful even when I'm faithless. I am just so thankful that He knows what's going on and that He knows what's best for me.