Living in a dirty world

So tonight, Dave Row taught and one part of his message really stood out to me. He talked of how Jesus washed His disciples feet and that can have more meaning to it than what meets the eye. The foot is what gets dirtiest because it is the one that touches the "world" the most. I couldn't help but think of how dirty we figuratively get when we're walking in this world we live in. Well...tonight, I went to go and watch a movie and it was honestly one of the most vile movies I've ever seen, I seriously felt dirty after just watching a mere 15 minutes of it and soon felt the need to just leave as I had the words of James 1:27 going through my head, "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, [and] to keep oneself unspotted from the world." It's one of those things where you could almost tangibly feel the battle being fought. I could hear people all around me laughing at the crude scenes and I realized just how we are called not to "conform to this world, but transform it by the renewing of our minds". And it may not be easy and the friends I went with might very well end up giving me grief about it or making me feel like a "goody two shoes" but that's when we have to count the costs and remember we are held to a higher standard and answer to a higher authority. I'm not saying that movies are bad, or anything like that, but that we need to hold true to the personal convictions the Holy Spirit lays on our hearts.

A butterfly?

Ok, so this may sound kind of random, but last night I was sitting at my favorite thinking spot, the baptismal at Calvary. And I was just laying down looking at the stars mixed with clouds that were beginning to roll in. I've never really watched the clouds at night, but last night I did and as I was praying I saw a cloud that had a hole in it that was the shape of a butterfly and I couldn't help but draw the connection to how I'm kind of experiencing what a butterfly goes through in my own way. I feel like for the past year especially I've been kind of in my cocoon, learning, preparing, etc... for this next adventure and when I board that plane in 27 days I will be finally breaking out and spreading my new found wings and having to learn how to fly on my own. Without my normal support network of friends and family I will be experiencing the world in a whole new way.

Flying away

Ok, so I don't know about anyone else, but there's those times I experience something that hits me and I begin to look around me and notice just how frequently I hear or see something that resembles that or hits that same button. For me, it is typically with music and lately I've been noticing all of the songs that seem to apply to me taking on this next chapter of my life. I feel for my friends because there are so many songs I hear on the radio that I'm like "this is so my life song right now". But as you are leaving all you know and love you kind of tend to look for comfort wherever you can, something that makes you feel not so alone, and these songs seem to help with that. For instance, there's an Alanis Morrissette song called Wunderkind where it says, "I am a magnet for all kinds of deeper wonderment/ I am a wunderkind oh oh oh oooooh/ And I lift the envelope pushed far enough to believe this/ I am a princess on the way to my throne / Destined to serve, destined to roam" And there are yet still others like the Kelly Clarkson song where her chorus says, "I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly/I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky/And I'll make a wish/Take a chance/Make a change/ And breakaway/Out of the darkness and into the sun/But I won't forget all the ones that I love/I'll take a risk/Take a chance/Make a change/ And breakaway. But oh there's more, a song by Regina Spektor called The Call and the lyrics include, "All you can do is try to know Who your friends are/As you head off to the war/Pick a star on the dark horizon/And follow the light/I'll come back/When you call me/No need to say good bye", and finally the one that I seem to relate to the most is the Shadow of the Day by Linkin Park with the line "sometimes beginnings aren't so simple, sometimes goodbye's the only way". I know this is kind of a depressing thought, but it does help me to kind of put words to some of the things I'm feeliing. To conclude this little thought, I found this quote today by Mark Twain which I feel kind of encapsulates yet more of my thoughts and trying to give myself some encouragement, "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream."

Montana Pics

Here's some of the pics I took so hopefully you can grasp how amazing this trip really was.

Montana trip 6.1

Well it's midnight and I'm back in the 'Burque after my first vacation by myself. These past five days went by so fast, but I just can't tell you how awesome it was to relax and spend time with friends of mine who have meant more to me than I can ever express. Today consisted of Alaina and Zack coming over for breakfast at the apartment after which we went to Coy and Sara's and I was able to see them one last time. It was surreal saying goodbye to them and I was having kind of a hard time processing it, and then Johnny and Tori took me to the airport and that's where it hit me. I didn't think I was going to cry, but as it so happened, it just came and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Realizing I was saying goodbye for two years to all those people was just so crazy to me. I just pray that God will use all of them in such amazing ways up there as I know He's already begun a good work and He is faithful to finish what He begins. Now it's back to reality and me continuing on with Africa prep. I'm stoked because the Belize team gets back tonight, yay! I can't wait to tackle my guys. I'm glad I'll finally get to see them as it seems like the days have been winding down to Africa and all I want to do is spend time with friend but all of my friends who weren't in Montana were pretty much in Belize except for a couple. Well, traveling takes it out of you, so I guess I'll go to sleep now.

Montana trip 5.1

Right now I'm in a little coffee shop enjoying an iced vanilla late recapping on my trip as I will be leaving in less than 24 hours. I honestly cannot tell you how perfect this trip was to escape some of the Africa stress that had been bogging me down recently. I know it will be there facing me when I return but hopefully I'll be ready to take it on. Today was a pretty relaxed day. We woke up to make some waffles and then Tori and I talked for a while and then she convinced me to take a bike ride with her which I was incredibly afraid of since I haven't ridden a bike in about ten years and even when I did ride my bike back then, I couldn't even turn a corner. But we rode for almost two miles and I didn't fall down once and it was awesome feeling the cool air as I rode taking in the beautiful scenery. Tori and I then headed over to Whitefish where we got to hang out with Jennie, Alivia, and Lenya. Alivia showed me her room, seriously every part of her room, she is such a cool little girl! Then we headed over to the Red Caboose for lunch and I got to spend some more time with Jennie and I don't think I can ever convey to her how much it meant to me to be able to sit and talk with her as she seriously (and I've told her this) has had THE biggest impact on my walk out of anyone. From there, Tori and I walked around the town and I got a couple of souvenirs and after that, we headed home where she dropped me off here.

Montana Trip 4.2

Well today was a crazy day to say the least. We finally got to see Ella and I got to hold her and one cool thing I hope I will always remember is at one point Levi, Jennie, Kevin, Alaina, Tori, Johnny, Coy, and Sara were all in the room and it was just so neat all of us being there I just tried to capture what it was like and so it will be a memory I will always cherish.

After the hospital, Johnny and Tori took me to what could be described as the most breathtakingly beautiful place in the entire world, Glacier National Park. I'm definitely not one to be at a loss for words, but that place seriously took the words out of my mouth. And the picture that I've included with this blog helps to show what I mean when I say "If a picture is worth a thousand words, a thousand pictures of this place can only described with a whispered 'wow!'" It seemed as if every corner we drove around there was a different view that I just couldn't put into words to tell how beautiful it was. While on our way there I also was able to experience heaven on a waffle cone, huckelberry ice cream. Oh my sweet goodness! That ice cream was amazing. Texting my parents, I was able to write the most glorious sentence "on my way to Glacier eating huckelberry ice cream". Life seriously couldn't get a whole lot better than that.

Coming home from Glacier, we were exhausted and so we went back to Tori and Johnny's where we made spaghetti and watched Penelope which was actually pretty cute. It then started to rain and I poured myself a cup of coffee and drank that while listening to the rain and watched the Devil Wears Prada. Needless to say, it was an awesome day!

Montana Trip 4.1

Well, right now I'm in the hospital waiting room because Sara and Coy just had their new baby girl. Her name is Ella June and she's 6 lbs 8 oz. We haven't seen her yet but we're going to get some food for all of us and then probably see her then. It always blows my mind thinking about babies being born. To me, it seriously is by far the craziest miracle I could ever think of, and I can't imagine what goes through a couple's mind as they get closer to the birth of their baby knowing that their life is going to drastically change and they have one of the biggest responsibilities in the world being a parent. Well time for lunch.

Montana Trip 3.1

To define today (Monday) in one word is "R-E-L-A-X". There was no agenda, nothing planned and it was glorious! We woke up at around 9ish and Tori and I made coffee cake and talked and then Johnny brought us burgers from Frugals which were amazing and were kind of a mixture between In-N-Out and Carl's Jr. After that Tori and I walked along Main Street where we went into a couple cool little shops, including one little (ok, it was actually really big) antique shop where it was almost like we were playing dress up looking at all of the old things. After that we headed home and watched the Dark Knight and it was amazing yet again, and it was nice just being able to anticipate the scary parts so I wouldn't jump clear out of my seat. We then went back to the apartment and just hung out waiting for everyone to come and hang out and by around 9ish we had Josh, Devon, Elisha (Kevin Guido's sister), Kevin and Alaina all at the apartment just hanging out. When Devon came over he had a crazy look on his face and told us he heard a loud bang and there was a fire and so we ran to check it out and it was a little brush fire, it was pretty exciting. But that was just about all we did, nothing big or fancy but exactly what I'm needing.

Oh, and one more thing. One crazy thing about Montana is that it stays light until almost 11 (hence the picture with my cell phone).

Montana Trip 2.2

Well due to the limited access to wi-fi, so this is for the last part of Sunday.

Well, after church I was able to see and talk to everyone and I was able to hold Jennie's and Levi's baby Lenya who is so precious and she seriously grabbed a hold of my heart. Then we all went to lunch at about 2 where we had big momma burritos and I was able to sit and talk to Jennie and Levi which was cool because I'm not sure if I'll get another chance to see them. From there we went to change and headed to Foy's Lake with Coy, Sara, and Emma. The lake was breathtakingly beautiful (that's what you're seeing pictures of) I've seriously never seen a lake so blue before. Then while Johnny and Coy went to watch the Red Sox game at Coy's Tori and I watched becoming Jane at the apartment. It was super chill and exactly what I needed not having to be some place but just going with the flow. I'm loving it up here!

Montana Trip 2.1

Ok, so it's day 2 and right now I'm in the office of Fresh Life church listening to the worship coming up through the floor from down stairs. I went to the early service and have been able to see almost everyone, but they all were just super busy tying to get everything ready for service. It's so crazy seeing all the people who I grew up with spiritually to see them thriving in a new place with a whole new group of people. The town is so cute, definitely not what I was expecting but then again I haven't even been in Montana 12 hours. So far though the people here are super nice and super laid back. I have no clue what all I'll do while I'm here but I'm just glad I get to see everyone one last time.

Montana Trip 1.1

Right now I'm in the airport enjoying the "fun" aspects of travel. I must preface this by reminding everyone that this is the first time I've ever really flown by myself, every other time I've flown either with my family or a large group of high school students all wearing brightly colored shirts. Therefore, due to the novelty of this experience, I have decided to document this in a manner that is true to my detailed nature.

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Checking my bag in I was behind a number of individuals who were having to receive vouchers to stay in a hotel due to a cancellation, but I was able to utilize the joys of modern technology and check in on one of those cool computer kiosk things. As I approached the security checkpoint, I walked past those who were saying goodbye to their loved ones as they departed as well as by those who were there to meet the loved ones who were returning to them. As I observed this, I couldn't help but think of the opening scene in the movie "Love Actually" where Hugh Grant offers commentary on what he saw at the arrivals gate at Heathrow airport. "General opinion makes out that we live in a world of hatred and greed. I don't see that. Seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy but it's always there.
Fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends... lf you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around." And I have to admit I could concur with his feelings.
After that, and I anticipated going through the security area rather smoothly I hear that dreaded "beep" as I walk through. The gentleman manning that check point at first was not the most pleasant of individuals but after the fourth time of me double and triple checking that I had no metal on me, he warmed up. So I got to go into that very spacious glass room where a girl informed me of every single aspect of the search she was going to do, even down the sounds I was going to hear. Needless to say it was an experience, but I had fun with it because I found that they responded well to a positive attitude which I can only assume is a rare thing for them to experience in their line of work.
After that joyous occasion I then proceeded to my gate to make sure I had an idea of where it was (I know there are just so many options in the sunport but I just wanted to be sure). When to my chagrin (yes, I used that word) I discover my flight has been delayed about 40 minutes. So after that I decided it would be wise to consume some sort food and a caffeinated beverage and about 10 minutes later after paying $7 for an iced late and a bagel I settled into my chair in the waiting area by my gate. And that is where I am at right now as I have now requested to get e-mail updates from my flight so I don't get up and impatiently check and re-check my flight status on the screen.