one of my skeletons

Ok, so today in the SUB I saw one of my "skeletons" from my past. I have to admit it was really hard. It was a guy who I used to like, and I know it sounds pathetic but all of the feelings of hurt and rejection kind of came flooding back to me. I look at him now and remember the girl I was, the one who over analyzed every little thing and had this romanticized view of how everything would turn out. I know that since then I have still made some of those mistakes but I was much more naive back then and I have deffinitely learned from that experience. I see him now and see what he is like and I thank God for how His mighty hand worked in stearing me away from that situation, but I do have to admit it still does bring a pit to my stomach.

The Glorious Unseen

So I've noticed that I tend to have somewhat of an obsessive personality and when I'm excited about something, my life is consumed by that thing until something else kind of captures my attention. Well, my current obsession is with a band called the Glorious Unseen. The lyrics from their songs are seriously some of the best ones I've ever heard, it's like the lyrics put words to what my heart has been feeling. At first I was going to put some of the lyrics to a couple of the songs on here, but there's just really not enough room for me to do that, they're that amazing. What you should do though is google them and find some of their lyrics and then buy their cd and you will not be disappointed, I wish I could buy you each one of their cd's, but I can't. Their one song called "burn in me" nearly brought me to tears. I truly can't say enough about how much God has blessed me through listening to them.

Rejoice Always

That little verse always kind of gets me. I like to think that I'm a joyful person, but "always"? That's another story. As you've seen in the previous blogs, things have been kind of tough and I have to admit although I said I knew God was in control and that He had me in the palm of His hand, I honestly still didn't really believe it. But after these past couple of days I've spent at my parent's house and then tonight being the first night at the Pirolo's I have to admit that although it's tough not having a real "space of my own" I know I need to be thankful and rejoice that God is providing for me and that this is a time in my life where I'm not supposed to be comfortable. I need to thank God that I have a great family where I am able to go back and live with them and I've been blessed with a great family with the Pirolo's as well. I now need to continue to remember that although "He gives and takes away" He's still faithful to love, provide, and take care of me and that He is faithful even when I'm faithless. I am just so thankful that He knows what's going on and that He knows what's best for me.

It is finished

Tonight was probably one of the most difficult nights I've ever had...I moved out of my apartment. But not only that, but I am now going to be living with my family part of the time and the Pirolo's the other part, I love both families, but there's just a certain amount of independence that gets forfeited when you don't have your own place. I just can't believe all the memories that were made in that apartment and all that I've experienced while I was there, from Summit groups to bachelorette parties, to dinner parties to girls nights, they've all been there. I seems as if I have closed a whole chapter of my life by closing that door one last time. It was crazy to see how small it seemed after all the furniture was moved out, it just looked like a normal apartment without being filled with a year and a half of history of a 21 year old. My mom came to help do the deep cleaning and boy am I glad that she did b/c she served as a shoulder to cry on as we left. I can without a doubt say that this past week has been the toughest week of my life.

Well...I guess this is it

Ok, well the last blog I wrote I was sitting on my floor, and this morning I'm again sitting on my floor typing this blog, but now I have pretty much no furniture, and the piles that were surrounding me have now been reduced to small piles of miscellaneous papers and other randomness. Last night was my last night sleeping in my own apartment, and it's honestly surreal to think that after today is the first day of the big changes coming my way as I progress towards August. Right now, I just have to keep reminding myself to take deep breaths, pray, and hold on, b/c this is going to be one wild ride.

It's starting to hit me

So tonight I'm sitting on the floor in my apartment surrounded by boxes and piles of clothes realizing that I'm soon no longer going to have a place to call my own. I will no longer have my own room, bathroom, bed, living room, etc... I will have to share it with all of my family and I really am praying that it will be a lot easier than I'm anticipating. I've lived on my own for over two years now, and have always been independent, so going back is going to be tough. Right now, I just wish I could vent on someone about how overwhelming all of these changes are, but I know I'm constantly talking about it all the time any way, but never have I been so overwhelmed. I feel like these next couple of days are my last days of normalcy and soon my life will begin to radically change.

The last of my last American Christmases

So this Christmas season, as with all of my past Christmases I had four family Christmas celebrations, and last night finished them off. I honestly didn't know I was going to have such a hard time, but it really was tough. Last night was probably the toughest out of all of them and I totally broke down. I'm so blessed with my family and how close we all are, especially on my dad's side. We had such a blast just relaxing without a lot of formalities and hanging out. One memory I'll cherish is when out of ten grand kids on my dad's side, the three of us girls decided to play dress up, hence the picture. I love my family so much, and I thank God for them all the time.